


Virgil and Janus hit a guy with their fucking car

by uhnonnymouse



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Blood and Injury, Gen, General tomfoolery, Interactive Fiction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader-Interactive, theyre all so dumb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24639487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uhnonnymouse/pseuds/uhnonnymouse
Summary: While arguing about Janus' questionable music taste and whether Virgil is emo or goth, they hit a guy with their fucking car._This is an INTERACTIVE fanfic. At the end of every chapter, the reader has a chance to make inputs that shape characters, relationships, plot, even the genre! Updates daily.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, One-Sided Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders - Relationship, One-Sided? Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 30
Kudos: 50





	1. The Inciting Incident

**Author's Note:**

> This work is INTERACTIVE. At the end of every chapter, a prompt will be given. You may pick from the pre-given options, or come up with your own! Just leave a comment on the chapter. I will choose whichever option is my favorite or gets the most support.
> 
> Updates daily unless stated otherwise in endnotes. Updates typically ~500 words in length.

“Look, all I’m saying is the music industry can be really manipulative and if you advertise _anything_ in a bright light it looks pretty good no matter the quality.”

“Lady Gaga is a queen, Virgil. I will not have you slander her name!” Janus slammed his hands against the steering wheeling, the car swerving, if only slightly.

“Or! Maybe!” Virgil snapped back. “You need to stop taking music requests from Roman! You’re show-tune obsession was bad enough…”

“I’m the one with the problem? Nobody’s gonna think you’re any less emo if you admit to liking pop music.”

Virgil leaned back in the passenger seat, throwing his arms up in the air in exasperation. “I’m not emo! I’m goth punk! How many times to I have to say it?!”

“Like there’s a difference.” Janus scoffed.

“There is! There is every difference!!”

Not wanting to hear another spiel about the nuances of emo and goth, Janus made sure to make the left turn into their neighborhood extra sharp.

“Jesus, man!” Virgil screamed, grabbing onto the little handle above his window. “What if you do that one day and we fucking die??”

“Oh, please.” Janus huffed. “I thought I was a cautious person, but you’re just no fun.”

“Seriously, Janus, you could get us into a--”

_screeeeech_

_THUMP._

…

“Oh my god.” Virgil couldn’t breath.

“Yep.” Janus said smartly.

“OH MY GOD.” Virgil scrambled out of the car, running around to the front, then immediately turning to look the opposite direction, yelling again into the sky “OH MY GOD!”

“Yes, Virgil, I know!” Janus yelled back, exiting the car himself to confirm it and...yep.

“Oh god, you killed a guy!”

“ _I_ killed a guy? This is a WE problem! You were in the car too, dumbass!”

Virgil was hyperventilating. “Y-you're right… oh god, we’re going to jail!”

“Don’t be stupid.” Janus snapped. “He’s not dead.” He was definitely bleeding, though.

Virgil began pacing, hugging his arms and muttering to himself. “Oh my god, oh my god, what’s Patton gonna think? Jesus christ…”

Janus looked around the neighborhood, than at Virgil, than at the guy they just hit with their car.

“Alright.” Janus breathed, going over to the car and opening the backseat door. He walked back over to the guy, crouched down, and got a grip under his armpits. “Virgil, grab his legs.”

Virgil stopped pacing, looking to Janus with tears in his eyes. “What?”

“GRAB HIS LEGS, VIRGIL!” Janus shouted him into action, Virgil quickly getting a hold of the guy’s ankles.

Together, they carried him to the car, laying him in the backseat. As an afterthought, Janus used both seat buckles to secure him in.

“Okay. Virgil, passenger seat.”

Silently, Virgil climbed back into the car. Janus got back behind the wheel, knuckles turning white on the steering wheel to cease his shaking hands.

“We are so going to jail.” Virgil said.

“Shut up. I have a plan.”

What’s the plan?

  1. Take the guy to the apartment.
  2. Bring the guy to the river to “take care of” the situation.
  3. Come up with your own answer in the comments!




	2. Don't Get Blood on the Carpet!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all: apartment!! we want fluff!!  
> me, rubbing my goblin hands together:

>Take the guy to the apartment.

“I can’t believe this is happening to me.” Virgil rambled, face tucked in between his knees. “Why do I keep hanging out with you? I should’ve listened to my mother…”

Janus sat in the driveway, letting Virgil get it out of his system. He’d heard this all before, after all. This wasn’t the first guy they’d hit with their car. Metaphorical speaking. This exact situation was actually a first.

As soon as Virgil trailed off in his own muttering, Janus turned the best he could to face Virgil, setting a steady hang on his shoulder. 

“Virgil. Look at me.”

Virgil raised his head.

“Remember when Arthur Bentely gave you a black eye in the seventh grade?”

Virgil nodded meekly.

“Who helped patch you up in the bathroom during passing period?”

“You did.” Virgil said quietly.

“And who ‘accidentally’ dumped brown paint on Bentely, ruining his $2000 nikes and his reputation in the entire school that followed him all the way to graduation?”

Virgil rolled his eyes with a scoff. “You did.”

“ _And_ who told you afterwards they’d always be there for you? Would never let you get hurt?”

“Alright! I get it.” Virgil laughed, brushing Janus away and hiding his flushed face.

“That’s my boy. Now,” Janus jumped out of the car, “help me drag this guy inside.”

They were to occupied trying to figure out a way to get the guy up the steps that they didn’t even noticed Remy, their neighbor, watching them from his own steps.

“Sup.” Remy said, cutting easily into their argument about getting blood on the carpet.

Virgil froze, but Janus just looked up and nodded. “Remy.”

“Uh...whatcha got there?”

Janus shrugged. “Hit a guy with the car.”

Remy looked away, taking a drag of his cigarette. “Whack.”

They set the guy on the sofa, then scrambled to different rooms.

Janus was staring at the guy with a perplexed look on his face as Virgil returned from the bathroom with a large medkit.

“What is that for?” Janus said, giving an accusatory look to the kit.

“Aren’t we going to…?” Virgil trailed off, eyeing the ski-masks Janus was holding. “What the fuck are _those_ for?! I thought we were going to treat the guy.”

“Oh.” Janus looked down at the masks. “I hadn’t even thought of that.”

“Because you’re fucking crazy.” Virgil set down the medkit, pulling out his phone. "I am not dealing with you."

“Virgil..." Janus warned.

“Too late.” Virgil hissed, dialing the number.

  1. Virgil: Call the police.
  2. Virgil: Call Patton.
  3. Janus: HIT VIRGIL OVER THE HEAD WITH THE MEDKIT
  4. Come up with an action for a character to take in the comments!



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I didn't explain this well enough, so here's an example of what I mean when it says you can "come up with" your own suggestions/actions to prompts!
> 
> Say there's an prompt ("Should Virgil punch Janus in his ugly snakey maw?") and there were three options (1. Yes, 2. No, 3. Suggest your own.) Now options one and two are just defaults, but option three allows you to input ANY command. This could be LITERALLY ANYTHING: ("Virgil punches Janus in the mouth...with his mouth.") or ("Virgil punches Janus so hard he's transported to the shadow realm"). Afraid an idea is to out-there? I thrive on chaos, bring it baby.


	3. Love of the Rat Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has to be my favorite chapter i've written so far

>Janus: Wrestle the phone from Virgil.

“Give me the phone, Virgil." Janus warned, reaching to grab it. But Virgil had a height advantage and managed to just keep it out of his grasp. "You are not calling anyone!” 

“Fuck off!” Virgil elbowed Janus in the stomach. In retaliation, Janus launched himself at Virgil, pulling him to the ground.

The continued to scuffle around, phone lost somewhere between them. At some point it was knocked across the floor, giving them both a clear view of the screen.

“No,” Janus breathed. “How?!”

“Hang it up hang it up hang it up!” Virgil shrieked in terror, fumbling with the phone as he tried to cancel the call before  _ he _ picked up--

_ “Heeeellllooooo?” _

Virgil looked like he was going to cry. He closed his eyes and mumbled a small prayer before putting the phone on speaker.

“Hey, Remus.”

_ “Virgey! If you’re calling about the microwave, that was actually Janus.” _

“Wait.” Virgil shot an angry look to Janus. “What did you do to the microwave?”

“Nothing, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Janus hissed back.

_ “J.D.! You’re there too! Wait, are you guys hanging out without me again?” _ His pout was audible through the speaker.

Virgil sighed. “We live together, Remus. There’s not much of a choice.”

_ “Well, whatever. I’m busy anyways.” _

Well, that wasn’t good. “Busy” for Remus was never anything good. There was only one thing Remus could possibly be “busy” with at this time of day.

“Oh god, are you stalking Logan again? I told you to quit that!” Virgil yelled before he could think better of it.

_ “I can’t let Roman win, Virgil!! Logan  _ laughed _ at one of his jokes yesterday! Do you know how far behind that puts me??” _

“Wait, what’s going on?” Janus asked.

“Remus and Roman have this dumb bet going on about Logan.” Virgil sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “The dumbshits want to see who can whoo him first."

"How did I not know about this?"

_ “Mustn't've come up. But! I’m about to up the game!”  _ Definitely not good.  _ “Very important-y. So unless whatever you guys have going on is more important-y, I gotta get back to this.” _

Virgil glanced at Janus. Oh, god. He recognized that expression.

“DON’T.” Virgil mouthed. “DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE--”

“Remus,” Janus said evenly. “We hit a guy with our car.”

An audible gasp.  _ “Is he still alive??” _

“Yes.”

_ “Perfect! I’ll be there in ten.” _ Remus hung up.

Virgil was dumbfounded. “What the fuck was that.”

“He can help.”

“He CANNOT help.” Virgil laughed humorless. “God, you dumb gay shit! I can’t believe you! I knew you and Remus had some weird shit going on, but  _ come on-- _ ”

“Remus and I are not dating! I would never touch that rat.”

“Oh, no, not dating. You’re to fucking heartless for that.” Virgil leaned forward. “But I do think you’re jealous. You  _ like _ Remus’ attention. You can’t stand him being infatuated with anyone else.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Janus snapped, pushing Virgil out of his space. “I’d think with how much time you spend with him,  _ you’re _ the one that craves his attention.”

“You pit him on me when you don’t want to deal with him!” Virgil accused. “If I had the choice, I would never be alone with that garbage can.”

“I do not!”

“Jesus, shut up! We don’t have time for this.” Virgil hissed, gesturing at the guy. “There is a guy bleeding out on our sofa, and Remus is gonna be here any minute now. Who knows what he’s planning! We need to contain this."

“Really, Virgil? How do you plan to do that? Please enlighten me.”

  1. Bring the guy to the car and get him out of here.
  2. Just don’t let Remus in the house, dumbshit.
  3. Come up with an action in the comments!



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for giving me this chance to bring in the rat man i love him


End file.
